How to help my family member deal with depression

I have several family close family members, who have recently received a diagnosis of depression.I want to help, but I'm unsure of exactly what I can do. I am also afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing and making it worse. Any advice?

It can be overwhelming to deal with family members, or friends, who are suffering with depression. However, there are steps you can take, that will be of constructive help to them, and allow you to participate positively in their care. These steps are-

• Gain some knowledge-Few people adequately understand depression. It can help your loved one if you take the time to find out what depression is, and is not. This is because there are so many popular misunderstandings, about the illness and so much denial.


• Remember that he or she cannot just "snap out of it". There is no arguing that depression is frustrating, but you must remember that your family member has a real illness. Just like someone with cancer, they can't simply "get over it." It is important to try not to express your frustration, or anger, in ways you will regret, but don't suppress your own feelings either. You can say for example, "I know that you can't help feeling down, but I feel frustrated."


• Try to remain positive-Most people with depression are unrelenting pessimist, so it becomes important to try to point out the positive things that are happening. This can help remind the person suffering from depression that positive things continue to happen, despite their illness.


• Ask about his or feelings-You can also encourage your family member, suffering from depression, to discuss his feelings with you. Your ability to listen non-judgmentally will be helpful in itself. This can also give you the opportunity to learn about his childhood and what role you are playing in regard to it.


• Admit your own powerlessness against the disorder-There are many people who believe they can cure someone they love, just by the sheer force of their love, as if that feeling alone should be enough to effect permanent change. The reality is that no matter how much you care for someone that alone will not "cure" their depression. It is important to avoid feeling guilty and acknowledge that you are not responsible for someone else's depression. Remember that you can offer support, you can show friendship or love, whichever is appropriate, but that is the limit of what you can do.


• Do not try to rescue your loved one-It is important to realize that a person suffering from depression can literally become a slave to it.The disorder may infantilize him, and he may well put pressure on you, to fix whatever he perceives to be the problem. Rescuing your loved one only provides a temporary fix.


• Do not make excuses for him or her. You must not become part of the depressed person's denial. Do not life for him, make excuses or cover up for a friend, or family member as this only prevents him from getting timely help. If you fall into this trap, ultimately it may do him harm and delay his recovery.


• Encourage the depressed person to seek help. Many sufferers from depression deny that they have the disorder, try to self-medicate or find another outlet for their depression, all of which are depressives, in the long run. Part of self-preservation is getting the depressed person, in your life to seek professional help. This is true not matter what the relationship with the person is.


• Remember that depression is curable-While you cannot cure depression, statistics show that even the worst depression is curable. The turning point can come at any time, maybe without your even realizing it.