What is psychic income?

Psychic income is a relatively simple thing to define, but its power over humans is mysterious and can be endlessly explored. In short, psychic income is the invisible stuff that a human being derives from, say, a new purchase. Invisible stuff? Sure! Let's say that you've got this old shabby coat and you're sort of ashamed of it. It stinks, it's covered in stains, someone wrote something offensive on it in permanent ink, its last owner suffered a grievous wound and bled copiously on its left sleeve, and so on. In short, it's a real mess, it's a real nightmare of a coat. Your psychic income from that particular article of clothing is zero. In fact, it's probably way in the negative. You're actually losing psychic income hand over fist on that coat. You feel horrible in it. You think that people are staring at you. You need to raise your psychic income, and fast. How do you do it? You've seen the answer by now-you simply buy a new coat.
But you don't just buy a new coat, you spoil yourself a little bit and buy one that you've had your eye on for some time, a fancy black leather deal with tassels hanging from the sleeves, a rubber skull with glow-in-the-dark eyes sewn into the back, tough steel buttons and zippers, and a thick warm lining featuring a pattern the Ascension of Moses. It's strange, all right, but it's yours, and you love it. Now your psychic income is rolling in. Your literal income, i.e. how much money you bring in, was depleted somewhat, but hey it was more than worth it. It's worth a few bucks to walk the streets feeling good instead of bad, cool instead of square, rich instead of poor, fashionable instead of absurd. It's true that your new coat is probably only really fashionable in one or two subcultures. But what's it to you? It's yours, and you love it. Your income has never been so huge, psychically speaking, and it affects the rest of your life. You're more cheerful at work. You're more confident with the opposite sex.

You're more likely to go out on weekends instead of hiding at home in the horrible, bloody old coat that you used to wear.
When people are inwardly debating whether or not to make an expensive new purchase, they're usually pitting their psychic income against their monetary income without knowing it. They're saying, in essence-"O.K., these shades cost a hundred dollars. That's really, really expensive. But I do need new shades, and they need to be durable and excellently made. These shades are durable and excellently made. And my old ones are neon green with plastic dolphins attached permanently to the tops of the rims. I hate them. But is it worth a hundred dollars to buy some shades that I love?" And then the subtle, unseen process really begins. Somehow, the person figures out how much psychic income they'll get from their purchase. The girl with the shades thinks: "Well, they are a hundred dollars, but my psychic income's going to be at least two hundred dollars more. A two hundred dollar profit in psychic image plus a pair of really good shades is a sound investment. I'll buy them."
Of course, psychic investment extends to more activities than just buying new things. Perhaps you feel as though you're a skinny weakling who could never make it two seconds in a combat situation, and this bothers you. You're afraid all the time, you won't look people in the eye lest they look back, become offended, and suddenly punch you brutally in the face with their huge meaty fist that's covered in spiky rings. Then one day you see a sign on a park bench that advertises karate classes for just forty dollars a month. You sign up. You're not all that much tougher; you'd probably still fall beneath the might of a ring-studded fist; but the important thing is that your psychic income is rolling in like glittering golden coins. Just the fact that you're in karate makes you feel good.
Psychic income can be derived from products, services, and activities. Having a butler, for example, might raise your psychic income. But wherever you get it from, be sure to get it. It's important to your mental health.

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